drive to az n back

so in feburary I decided to drive from washington to arizona to run away from my life. I thought that if I have time out in the middle of nowhere by myself id figure out what to do. on the first day I fell down and sprained my ankle. I had to stay 3 extra days in a little motel because I could not move. you know something? when I fell, 1 a stranger pulled over to ask me if I was okay, and I really do appreciate that but it made it more humilating than it had to be. 2. I felt like intense pain and I thought back to platoon, the movie, I wrote about it I believe. there was a scene where a guy is shot and the general holds his hand over the guys mouth and says “swallow the pain” I thought about that and swallowed the pain and got up and kept walking. this is actually a terrible idea. do not do that. it made it a lot worse. eventually I kept moving and I went down through oregon, I stayed at a little motel in this tiny beach town. it was rainy and cold and there was nobody out. I sat on the beach in the rain for quite a while. I am a very dramatic person so that was just what I wanted. I let the rain land on me, I watched the waves and felt the sand and I actually felt alive despite how corny that sounds. maybe it’s not. maybe I should have more confidence in my words but I just imagine someone reading it and I can’t not. I kept going and ended up in the redwoods. now I have never been to california so this was quite big for me. I remember going on the avenue of giants, surrounded by these ancient old trees, in the middle of feburary with no one there. I stood outside and breathed in the air and it felt almost spiritual. as im driving down the avenue I see this man covered wearing ragged clothes with a long beard and it perplexes me but im not going to die so I do not stop. as I keep going I get out again. I do my breathing in and such then I look to the left and I see a different man, dressed similar, with a long beard. we stare at each other then I go straight back to my car because remember im not going to die. then I drive past this commune, surrounded by old old cars in a circle with smoke coming out the middle. I told my mom later and she found that I had ran into the yeehaw commune. shout out to them. sometimes I think I would be interested in that if they weren’t so freaked out. eventually I made my way down to arizona. I like being at home. I miss my mom. I didnt figure out what to do, but the view was unexplainable. america is truly beautiful despite what you may say. perhaps the most beautiful country in the world when it comes to physical geography. think about it actually. not architecture at all, not politics, but the nature for real. mountains, plains, tropics, beaches, deserts, forests, rainforests, swamps, big cities, tiny towns.

so eventually I decided to drive back up, this time going through utah and idaho. I made it about two hours before I got pulled over and taken to jail. oops. I drove too fast at a time I should not have. jail was okay, I made a friend. I only had to be in for 8 hours or so, I got bailed out. hooray!